Get Demented

Today's playlist gets increasingly demented after about the fourth song, so come prepared with an extra diaper and two tabs of acid. And don't say I didn't warn you. Seriously, I'm faced with a moral conflict right now between my obligation to blog the most insane tunes I can wrap my manic hands around and my responsibility as a human being to protect my fellow humans from this phenomenon that people are calling "techno music." I can't believe you sick freaks even look at this website anymore, this music is deplorable and bad for your dental health.

Let's just get this one out of the way first. The track people have been calling "ID" between breaths of fog machine fog and man musk was leaked today and it has a new name: "Levels." Our boy Avicii has outdone himself again, with a track that sounds polished, professional, and most certainly well beyond his 21 years. It still sets my soul soaring after having heard the instrumental for the last three months on a semi-daily basis. What can you say? The dude knows what the people what and just how to give it to 'em. [EDIT: Avicii has spoken; this is his personal live edit and the original mix is still due to be released]
Avicii - Levels (Live Edit)


There's nothing Sir Real likes more than hearing seemingly disjointed, atonal beats which coalesce into a melodious banger right before his very ears. Not much else to say about this one except that this track has been a set staple for the likes of Boys Noize and Bart B More all year. Starski is on point.
Starski - Sunstruck (Original Mix)


The first and last thing Don Diablo did right on his new track "Animale" was getting Dragonette on the vocals. Dunno what it is about her voice, but ya girl currently holds the highly coveted top spot on the prestigious "Sir Real's Favorite Shit List" in the "Female Dance Music Vocalist" category. Oliver does some serious work on this track, plucking a most evocative and tantalizing vocal phrase from the original and planting his vision around it. It starts off solidly, moving in a french house sort of direction before Oliver goes off on a mawfucka and turns the track into a massive disco track of anthemic proportion.
Don Diablo ft. Dragonette - Animale (Oliver Remix)


Junior Jack kkiillss it on this track, which feels like the perfect homage to his French Touch predecessors, Thomas Bangalter and Guy de Homem-Christo. No one can take a tiny keyboard sample, screw it up and throw a FAT bassline under it quite like those Daft Punk fellas, but Jack gives them a run for their money on this thumping mix.
Junior Jack - Thrill Me (Original Mix)


This is where shit starts to get weird. Found this track over at the insanely-on-top-of-their-shit GDD... it's almost like blogging is those dudes job or something, damn. Anyway, Finger Prince are a couple of crazy kiddos from Botswana who know how to make techno JUST how I like it: with some funk and a large serving of "HOT DAMN."
Boy 8-Bit - Yard Birds (Finger Prince Remix)


French blog-household names Para One, Surkin, and Bobmo have combined to form a The Marble Players. Their first track, "Playground," is 100% USDA approved techno music. It's surprising to hear this sort of thing out of three artists whose music was so much a part of the blog house movement, but also refreshing as hell.
Marble Players - Playground


So long story short, this is a track from my favorite DJ set to date: Sven Vath's Essential Mix at Cocoon. Back in the day, I figured I was just listening to some strange German man play house beats, but it so turns out that what I was listening to was in fact techno. I don't know where I'm going with this because beatport claims this song is electro house (what do they know anyway?), but the point is that I've always had a soft spot in my heart for freaky techno, especially when served masterfully by the hands of a middle-aged German wizard on four hits of acid. Listen to Sven Vath's epic mix here, and for all you crazy fucks who actually enjoy it, download here.
Gabriel Ananda - Ihre Personliche Glucksmelodie (Freeform Five Remix)


Since 1993, Jori Hulkkonen has been producing sickeningly crazy techno music, but I just found him and this song yesterday so don't believe a word I say. And don't ask me to pronounce his name or I will punch you in the mouth. However, I will say that Jori and the Roland TB-303 are clearly very good friends.
Jori Hulkkonen - Opportunities (Original Mix)


When I played this song to my roommate his first response was to tell me a story about how he and some friends stumbled into a club in Vienna where this sort of music was being played and promptly ran out of the place fearing for their sanity. I simply replied that I intend to spend some time in Vienna as soon as possible. Hallucinogenic drugs can have devastating and long-lasting effects on one's psyche. When this beat drops around the four-minute mark you had better make sure you're somewhere where improper behavior is encouraged.
Dinky - Acid In My Fridge (Visionquest Remix)


Representing the District of Columbia (Bright&Shiny's home), Pleasurekraft brings us a smashing tech house track that's sure to get asses shaking. Believe me, this music may sound underwhelming to you as you sit at home listening on your MacBook Pro's speakers. But when played by the right person in a dimly lit warehouse filled with people who love to dance, this shit will have a serious impact on the well-being of all involved. And I don't know how many of our readers are DJs, but let me spell this out for you: THIS TRACK IS FIRE.
Pleasurekraft - Corpse Reviver Number 2 (Original Mix)


Finally, the track which inspired the theme of this post: Funkerman's remix of Moby's "The Day." This is demented tech house at its finest, fit for playing only in the darkest and dankest clubs of Berlin's underground. It scares the living shit out of you, but not before forcefully compelling you to dance uncontrollably and without regard for human life. Funkerman's debut album is set to come out this year and I for one will be waiting with bated breath to see what other sorts of madness this man can stir up.
Moby - The Day (Funkerman Remix)



SIR REAL